i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
