Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
