i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry about my life...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
