i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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