Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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