I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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