so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
