I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
