So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
