Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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