Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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