1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
