Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
