Sry I called you an 8
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
