If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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