Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
