He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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