And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize