hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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