Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
