Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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