why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
