he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
