I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So vagazzling was a success
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
