Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
