im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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