i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
