And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
