so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
