how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
