I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
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Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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