i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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