I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
