I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.