i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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