Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
