And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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