Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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