I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
