I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
