O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
