I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
