ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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