I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you traded sex for a burrito?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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