Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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