Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
