So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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