....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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