Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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