Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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