I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
