A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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