just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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