the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
