Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize