my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
