So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
