I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
