I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
