So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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