My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
