I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
