I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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