I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
